I love my mom, no doubt. Even though I always bitch at her for small reasons, I still love her. I never really noticed what she had put into this family. After the fuss and fights with her, I would always regret yelling at her.. Because she yells at me because she actually cares for me. Through all the bullshit I gave her, she's always there for me, and I don't seem to appreciate her till now, thinking about what she's done for me. As corny as it sounds I do... :)<3

I fucking hate sleeping at 12 and waking up at 3 something, it always makes me think about stuff.. Well, today was okaay I guess. My dad was lagging on me till 6 to take me to shantel's house...Went there, it was pretty okaay at first. Then drinks came, blah blah. I had to leave at like 8 cos today was my first day of work.-____-, how gay right. And then, yeaaaah. SIGH, what a family I have... Dad is an ass, seriously. Always blames me and my mom for shit he does. SIGh, I thought summer '09 would be fun, but to think of it... It's been really boring.. I only go out once or twice a week, and dad already bitches at me. I hate having a strict dad, bugs the shit out of me. UGH, I hate staying up late, I always seem to blog my heart out when I have nothing to do..Eck, I wanna go rollarskating or ice skating one day :).

Sigh, its real gay how I can never stop thinking about what happened. I want to get it out of my head so much, but I never can seem to do so. Fuck this feeling, it had been killing me inside..And staying up till 4 doesn't help me get it out of my head either, I always have to occupied myself with something, so I wouldn't have the time to think about it, but I never have anything to do..ugggh, why can't I just let it go, it really suckss feeling this way.

I got my love on lockdown now. I'm seriously not ready for any guys right now, cause it always seems like they walk out on me, when I give my all. So, now I'm not going to give my all to someone that won't give me their all themself.

things I need to do before summer ends :
1. get a fucking bike. CHECK
2. then bike to kevin's house.
3. then bike with kevin to LQ.
4. buy joose and stuff with kevin.
5. bike to the beach with kevin.
6. go boy hunting with kevin.
7. go bike with don.
8. go watch a movie in theaters.
9. get real buzzed.
10. dye my hair to one color agian.
11. be sober from candy for more than 2 weeks.
12. go shopping.
13. go to signal hill.
I SHALL HAVE MORE SOON. :)

Aren't my blogs something to read ? Lol, when did I start to become so deep? Like in june and stuff, my blogs were just ... whatevers. And now, I blog everything out, and yeahh. I wonder who has the time to reads my boring blogs..hah.